Skip to main content

Boundaries: An act of self-love, Part 2

In the last article, we learned about boundaries and understood the significance of their implementation in our personal and professional lives. In this article, we shall dive deep into this subject.

For our reminder, let’s reflect on the definition of personal boundaries again. They are guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify for himself what are safe and reasonable ways to behave around him and how he shall respond when someone steps outside those limits.

Let’s reflect on these signals in our lives, which may be an indication of sloppy boundaries.

    • Difficulty saying no when required

    • Failing to stand up for yourself when mistreated

    • Feeling taken for granted in relationships

    • Living in constant fear about other people’s opinions

    • Attracting people who have a controlling tendency

    • Oversharing details about your personal life

    • Disregarding your own needs

These are some signs that we may observe ourselves experiencing. It would help us to judge for ourselves what are our personal boundaries are. Boundaries are essential for human connection and personal safety. They protect you, set the rules of engagement, and allow you to keep your individuality. Experts agree that boundaries are about yourself and not other people. You’re not in control of anyone else’s behaviour, but you may be able to make decisions and take action related to your needs and wants.

Some examples of boundary setting are as follows:

    • At work: “I am not able to come into the office on Saturday as I reserve the weekends for my family.

    • With our partner: “It’s important to me that you don’t share the details of our arguments with your mother. “It makes me feel uncomfortable.”

We also need to be alert and aware of red signals in our relationships. One needs to safeguard oneself from being smothered in relationships. A smothering relationship refers to a dynamic in which one partner becomes excessively controlling, clingy, and suffocating toward the other. It involves a lack of healthy boundaries and an imbalance of personal space and independence.

Healthy personal boundaries involve taking responsibility for your emotions and actions while not taking responsibility for other people’s emotions and actions.

We take a moment of silence to reflect on our personal boundaries and the places where they are sloppy. Let’s meditate on our personal space and areas where we lack boundaries. 

We shall learn more about boundaries in the next post. Stay in tune!



Be comfortable with saying, "NO"



Read the two previous articles on this blog:

 

Labels

Labels:

Recent articles

Meditation commentary

Hello friends, Sharing a simple guided commentary for moving inwards into a meditative state. Let’s pause and take out some time for this quiet, inward journey. You can play a soft instrumental music in the background and slowly read these words, trying to feel them deeply. Begin by sitting in a comfortable posture, and allowing your eyes to close. Put your hands on the lap and let your shoulders drop. Keep your back straight. Now, begin by taking a few slow, long, deep breaths. Breathe in fully, and breathe out fully through your nose. Allow your breath to settle into its own rhythm. Pay close attention to your breathing cycle. Notice each breath, as it enters through your nostrils, travels down your lungs, and makes your belly expand. Notice your breath flowing outside through your nostrils, contracting your belly inwards. Observe and accept your experience in this moment without judgement. Now, we shall do a gradual relaxation of our body muscles. Bring your awareness to your body. ...
Read article »

People pleasing – Solutions to amend this tendency

In this article, we shall understand and reflect on the possible ways to break the pattern of people pleasing. In our last post , we learned about the causes of this tendency. People pleasing is a form of self-abandonment, whereby we lose our identity in order to win the approval of others or to make them happy. We must comprehend the distinction between pleasing people and being kind. Kindness is a virtue that denotes strength, but people pleasing is a weakness that arises from fear, anxiety, and low-esteem. There is a significant difference between a nice guy and an authentic and kind individual. Thus, there is a dire need to delve deep into the root cause of this trait. Let’s examine some approaches to decondition ourselves from this pattern. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt     • Developing high self-esteem: We need to develop a high level of self- esteem and self-confidence. We need to realize our self -worth and have a clear ...
Read article »