In the last article, we learned about boundaries and understood the significance of their implementation in our personal and professional lives. In this article, we shall dive deep into this subject.
For our reminder, let’s reflect on the definition of personal boundaries again. They are guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify for himself what are safe and reasonable ways to behave around him and how he shall respond when someone steps outside those limits.
Let’s reflect on these signals in our lives, which may be an indication of sloppy boundaries.
• Difficulty saying no when required
• Failing to stand up for yourself when mistreated
• Feeling taken for granted in relationships
• Living in constant fear about other people’s opinions
• Attracting people who have a controlling tendency
• Oversharing details about your personal life
• Disregarding your own needs
These are some signs that we may observe ourselves experiencing. It would help us to judge for ourselves what are our personal boundaries are. Boundaries are essential for human connection and personal safety. They protect you, set the rules of engagement, and allow you to keep your individuality. Experts agree that boundaries are about yourself and not other people. You’re not in control of anyone else’s behaviour, but you may be able to make decisions and take action related to your needs and wants.
Some examples of boundary setting are as follows:
• At work: “I am not able to come into the office on Saturday as I reserve the weekends for my family.
• With our partner: “It’s important to me that you don’t share the details of our arguments with your mother. “It makes me feel uncomfortable.”
We also need to be alert and aware of red signals in our relationships. One needs to safeguard oneself from being smothered in relationships. A smothering relationship refers to a dynamic in which one partner becomes excessively controlling, clingy, and suffocating toward the other. It involves a lack of healthy boundaries and an imbalance of personal space and independence.
Healthy personal boundaries involve taking responsibility for your emotions and actions while not taking responsibility for other people’s emotions and actions.
We take a moment of silence to reflect on our personal boundaries and the places where they are sloppy. Let’s meditate on our personal space and areas where we lack boundaries.
We shall learn more about boundaries in the next post. Stay in tune!
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| Be comfortable with saying, "NO" |