Skip to main content

Boundaries: An act of self-love, Part 2

In the last article, we learned about boundaries and understood the significance of their implementation in our personal and professional lives. In this article, we shall dive deep into this subject.

For our reminder, let’s reflect on the definition of personal boundaries again. They are guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify for himself what are safe and reasonable ways to behave around him and how he shall respond when someone steps outside those limits.

Let’s reflect on these signals in our lives, which may be an indication of sloppy boundaries.

    • Difficulty saying no when required

    • Failing to stand up for yourself when mistreated

    • Feeling taken for granted in relationships

    • Living in constant fear about other people’s opinions

    • Attracting people who have a controlling tendency

    • Oversharing details about your personal life

    • Disregarding your own needs

These are some signs that we may observe ourselves experiencing. It would help us to judge for ourselves what are our personal boundaries are. Boundaries are essential for human connection and personal safety. They protect you, set the rules of engagement, and allow you to keep your individuality. Experts agree that boundaries are about yourself and not other people. You’re not in control of anyone else’s behaviour, but you may be able to make decisions and take action related to your needs and wants.

Some examples of boundary setting are as follows:

    • At work: “I am not able to come into the office on Saturday as I reserve the weekends for my family.

    • With our partner: “It’s important to me that you don’t share the details of our arguments with your mother. “It makes me feel uncomfortable.”

We also need to be alert and aware of red signals in our relationships. One needs to safeguard oneself from being smothered in relationships. A smothering relationship refers to a dynamic in which one partner becomes excessively controlling, clingy, and suffocating toward the other. It involves a lack of healthy boundaries and an imbalance of personal space and independence.

Healthy personal boundaries involve taking responsibility for your emotions and actions while not taking responsibility for other people’s emotions and actions.

We take a moment of silence to reflect on our personal boundaries and the places where they are sloppy. Let’s meditate on our personal space and areas where we lack boundaries. 

We shall learn more about boundaries in the next post. Stay in tune!



Be comfortable with saying, "NO"



Read the two previous articles on this blog:

 
Labels:

Recent articles

Meditation commentary

Hello friends, Sharing a simple guided commentary for moving inwards into a meditative state. Let’s pause and take out some time for this quiet, inward journey. You can play a soft instrumental music in the background and slowly read these words, trying to feel them deeply. Begin by sitting in a comfortable posture, and allowing your eyes to close. Put your hands on the lap and let your shoulders drop. Keep your back straight. Now, begin by taking a few slow, long, deep breaths. Breathe in fully, and breathe out fully through your nose. Allow your breath to settle into its own rhythm. Pay close attention to your breathing cycle. Notice each breath, as it enters through your nostrils, travels down your lungs, and makes your belly expand. Notice your breath flowing outside through your nostrils, contracting your belly inwards. Observe and accept your experience in this moment without judgement. Now, we shall do a gradual relaxation of our body muscles. Bring your awareness to your body. ...
Read article »

People Pleasing: A trait to be understood and reflected upon

A “people pleaser” means a person who feels a strong need to please others, even at their own cost. They may feel that their wants and needs are unimportant, so they alter their personalities in order to make others happy. Often, we engage in people pleasing unconsciously or witness people around us doing that, but we often fail to comprehend the underlying causes of this tendency. Let’s analyze and understand the reasons behind it, and give it some contemplation. Some common factors behind it are:     • Low self- esteem     • A childhood trauma     • Avoidance of conflict      • Low self esteem:  People who have low self-esteem are dependent on the external validation, and approval of others to feel confident. They feel good, when others shower them with compliments. They unconsciously base their esteem on outer appreciation, and seek reinforcement of value from others. They also feel they are less worthy and deserve less in comparison ...
Read article »