In this article, we shall understand and reflect on the possible ways to break the pattern of people pleasing. In our last post, we learned about the causes of this tendency. People pleasing is a form of self-abandonment, whereby we lose our identity in order to win the approval of others or to make them happy.
We must comprehend the distinction between pleasing people and being kind. Kindness is a virtue that denotes strength, but people pleasing is a weakness that arises from fear, anxiety, and low-esteem. There is a significant difference between a nice guy and an authentic and kind individual. Thus, there is a dire need to delve deep into the root cause of this trait. Let’s examine some approaches to decondition ourselves from this pattern.
We must comprehend the distinction between pleasing people and being kind. Kindness is a virtue that denotes strength, but people pleasing is a weakness that arises from fear, anxiety, and low-esteem. There is a significant difference between a nice guy and an authentic and kind individual. Thus, there is a dire need to delve deep into the root cause of this trait. Let’s examine some approaches to decondition ourselves from this pattern.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
• Developing high self-esteem: We need to develop a high level of self- esteem and self-confidence. We need to realize our self -worth and have a clear awareness of our strengths and weaknesses. We need to grow the voice of self- love within us that validates and approves of ourselves. Depending constantly on others opinions makes us prisoners. We should be able to evaluate ourselves and develop a closer bond with our inner selves. Slowly, we'll start to become more confident in who we are and the decisions we make in life.
• Healthy conflict management: It is imperative for us to understand that conflict and disagreement are an inevitable part of adult life. We need to accept the fact of displeasing others and disappointing them. Conflicts and disappointments can be handled by adults. Nothing about it is bad. Wherever it is required for us to say a ‘no’ and assert ourselves we should move forward with ease without dwelling much on the feelings of others. Being in a Zen state of mind in relationships and at work is not practical. We must learn to handle conflicts and make room for them in our lives.
• Practicing self- kindness: We need to satisfy our own needs first before we jump onto satisfy others. Gratifying our own needs is not something negative. Maybe some of us are conditioned to view self-advocacy in a negative light. The truth is that we all have limits and needs, and we need to acknowledge them. Developing healthy boundaries and assertive communication can help us go a long way in this direction.
I hope this post is useful and helps us in our practical lives.
